she said words alone never could save us

In my travels through the so-called blog-o-sphere, I have noticed a few things. Depending on whose site I’m viewing, I can get a lot of information, entertain myself, and even occasionally learn something imminently useful -- including but not limited to the number of times Britney Spears has checked in and out of rehab. (I’m counting 2 in and out’s, with perhaps a third on it’s way later today or tomorrow.)

I have been reading other people’s blogs for months (okay, okay, more like a year) and I have finally worked up the courage to develop my own. And so, on an unusually gray and rainy February afternoon, I have decided to make an unusual move and join the party.

As a cyber laggard, I imagine I will suffer all of the ills that latecomers to parties always face. Primarily, everyone will already be drunker than me when I arrive. Also, the single guys will have met girls and developed so-called party-rapport with them, so I may find myself hard up for someone to converse with. And, most importantly, people will be giving me that especially intimidating who-the-hell-are-you-and-why-are-you-so-late look when I walk through the door. (All this, even though I RSVP-ed that I would come late and even walked in with a six pack of beer!)

Despite these terrible odds, I have decided to show up anyway. After all, this is Los Angles, land of six hundred dollar shoes, small men in large cars, and not-so-tastefully veiled whispers of “you should go out with him…his father is worth [insert obnoxious and exaggerated sum here].” Poise, grace, and etiquette don’t really seem to be much of a Los Angeles cultural value. So, among the other advantages of living here (the weather, the music scene, the amazing Mexican food) the city’s complete and utter lack of propriety has emboldened me. (And as long as I find a place to street park so I can avoid the valet, I feel like this party might just be okay.)

Anyway, for all five of you reading this right now, (okay, so five may be a little ambitious…) please ignore my unfashionable lateness and forgive my fondness for parenthesis. If you do, I promise to use this space to post fascinating essays unpacking my intricate, pithy and well thought out interpretations of art, literature, music, and the most essential socio-cultural aspects of contemporary American life. Either that, or provide you lots of ammunition with which to mock me.